Let the Cristal flow...

You gotta love the VMAs. It’s a great barometer for fashion and pop culture. The award is a pointless fan wank, but what a party! I’m a tremendous proponent of pointless glamour and ridiculous consumption. Waiter, just leave the bottle thanks!

The best dressed? Jayzee. Hands down. Now knowing how to dress for impact is not one of his 99 problems. A white suit can be quicksand, and the off color pastel tie really makes the whole thing work. P-Diddy completely went the wrong way with his Colonel Sanders look. Just which of the 11 herbs he was smoking is between him and the crew of his yacht.

The ordinarily dapper Will Smith just wasn’t pulling off the Fresh Prince this time, and was completely overshadowed (figuratively as well literally) by the tropical cut white outfit worn by Shaq. This is a perfect example of a well cut outfit showing off and making the most of skin tone.

Honorable mentions to Usher, Kanya West, Outkast, and to the male members of No Doubt who managed to stay covered for once. A big shout out to D12, who make fashion a team sport in their very sharp looking Pistons hoop gear. Just an idea though: the shower cap looks pretty silly.

Until next time, make mine a Thug Passion!

Spread collars are a tool of the devil

The seditious dissemination of spread collars has me in a snit. The basic fact is this: These are not for everyone. They are not interchangeable with straight narrow collars, and anyone who suggests otherwise is itching for a fight.

The ideal essential concept behind shapes and styles of clothing is that the clothing is designed to reshape your body into a more pleasing form. If it weren’t then we’d all be wearing togas. Collar spread is a perfect representative of the concept. Straight collars elongate the face and are suited to those of us with a rounded visage. Spread collars work when we want to round out a thin or elongated face.

Medium or Jermyn spread

OK. You have a tie that is perfect for a full Windsor knot. The medium to Jermyn spread collar is the correct frame. I like the medium. Having a rounded face, I can still wear the shirt with a regular tie without looking like I’m about to take flight.

The British Spread

I see Tony Blair wearing these and my faith in British democracy crumbles. Stop it Tony! It just isn’t for you. Back in the day, a good tailor in Jermyn Street would have put a stop to this. Let loose in Marks & Sparks without guidance, New Labour is showing its roots.

The Artisan, the Como, and other heresies

Refer to the above diatribe. There is a fitting place for all things in the universe. That place just may not be your closet.

The excruciating joy of a custom shirt

Now let me be crystal clear on this point. I'm not to be let out alone shopping. It's a very bad idea. I'm too easily taken in by the charlatans in the retail trade who flatter my vulnerable ego and send me packing with items I wouldn't give to my enemies.

Take the above as prelude: I'm now in the possession of 3 new custom shirts from a nice Hong Kong tailor to the tune of $450. Are they worth it? The sleeves are the perfect length. The collar could use just a touch more room, but that's a small drawback. Sea Island cotton that feels like luxury. If you don't own anything that's made from Sea Island cotton, you need to investigate.

There are numerous custom tailors to be found on the web, but I can't imagine ordering from them. Part of the ritual and circumstance is for your measurements to be taken by someone who knows their business.

For those wanting a sure thing, Robert Talbot is a great company to deal with and their fabrics are amazing. Check with your better quality menswear shops. If they care about shirts, they'll have a Robert Talbot display. RT ties have always been a joy to behold, but now the complete package is available.